Ways to Work with Anger from Another or when getting Angry with Yourself

In Alphabetical Order

A Period of Sitting Still

Sit still for a few minutes. Sit exceptionally still. Keep the eyes open. Relax with the breathing process. Walk up and down for a few minutes. Return to the sitting posture. Relax with breathing.

Carry On.

Engage in housework, daily tasks and be as mindful and clear as possible so you have a different focus.

Change Perception.

If you change your perception of a situation, then you change the anger. What is a completely different response without fear or anger? Practice to develop a different perception of a situation.

Cold Water.

Put your face in a bowl of cold water. If not enough, put your head in a bucket of cold water. The cold water will help to reduce the heat in the mind if it is burning with anger.

Constructive Approach.

Your anger can put on another on the defensive, avoid contact with you or throw their anger back at you. What is a constructive approach? Prepare for for expression of anger from another.

Dance.

Move the body in all manner of ways – with or without music. Energy then switches from being locked in the anger to an engagement with the movement, with the dance.

Develop Daily Acts of Loving Kindness

Engage in thoughtful words and deeds to show empathy and kindness for others including colleagues, friends, family, strangers and the unfriendly.

Draw.

 Draw your experience of anger? Are you burning up? Who is the target? Do you have a metaphor for anger? A burning forest? Walking on hot coals? Throwing stones at glass houses?

Dictate and Record

Use you voice to share your experience of feeling angry or being subjected to anger. What would you like to say or do? What would be helpful and what would be unhelpful? Then listen to your recording afterwards. Then try to communicate without anger.

Inner Critic.

Remember a negative thought about yourself or other is just a negative thought, no more, no less. Say aloud: “This is judgemental mind. This is a reaction. This is negativity.” You are stating the fact without justification. Keep repeating. Name your vitues.

Non-reaction.

Resolution to keep noble silence. Say nothing. Do nothing. Keep your peace. Be patient.

For as long as necessary – hours, day, weeks, months. Chose mindfully your time to respond.

Postpone.

If a person is truly angry with you or sounds agitated and bitter, find the courage to tell the person you will speak to him or her when they have calmed down.

Reflection.

What makes me angry? Is it towards myself, another or others? Can I develop another response? What state of mind leads up to my anger – insecurity, superiority, fear, blame or something that I avoid looking at?

Professional Support.

Make an appointment with a psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher, counsellor, consult a wise monk, nun or priest, meet with one experienced in terms of anger management? Find a group on social working with anger issues.

Prior Reflection.

What do you think the angry person would say to you? What tone of voice? What words? What is the blame about? Write down what you expect? Can you practice staying calm and steady? What kind of response from you would be helpful?

Reflect. Reflect. Reflect

What led up to the anger in yourself or another? Can you sense the fear and insecurity hidden in the experience? What changes are you willing to make in dealing with anger, inwardly or outwardly? What can you learn about the experience of anger?

Resolution

Start the day with “I hereby make a vow today not to get angry. I vow to stay upright, focussed and relaxed when hearing anger, directed to myself or hearing gossip against another?

Set the Time and Place.

Set the time how long you wish to discuss a potentially inflammatory issue. Choose the environment. For example: you are much more unlikely to hear abuse from another in a coffee shop than at home.

Sing

Pick out a song on your mobile phone, use lyrics or find on Google and sing and sing until anger fades.

Take Five Breaths.

Breath in long and deep. Relax on the outbreath. Mindfulness of the breath Interrupts identification with anger.

Taking a Walk.

Do not let the weather influence you. Walk, walk, walk. Keep walking until you have walked through the issue.

Tears.

Being on the receiving end of blame and anger upsets our heart. Allow yourself to cry, to shed tears. Try not to fall into a slumped position. The feeling of weight can turn tears to sobbing.

Theatre

Act out your part in the anger or in the anger of the other. Make theatre out of it

Trees.

Go to a quiet where there are trees. Find a tree. Express your anger. Say exactly what you would like to say to a person or group. The tree will stay steady and rooted. When you have got the anger out, then speak to the tree in another way on the same issue. You could record both communications and listen later.

Truth

Is there any truth in what the person says or writes. Can you hear the truth despite all the negativity wrapped around the truth? Acknowledge the truth and reflect on what the person said.

Write.

Write down an honest statement of the feelings and thoughts you experience. Write as much as you can. Then read aloud. Do you really want to the dump your views on another?

MAY ALL BEING LIVE DISSOLVE ANGER

MAY ALL BEINGS COMMUNICATE IN CALM WAYS

MAY ALL BEING RESPOND TO THEMSELVES AND OTHERS WITH WISDOM.