Discover more from Christopher Titmuss - The Buddha Wallah
The Main Regret of the Dying. They Worked too Hard
A former nurse who cared for the terminally ill has revealed the five most common regrets of the dying.
Bronnie Ware spent several years working in palliative care in Australia, looking after patients in the last three to 12 weeks of their lives.
Inspired by what she discovered, Ms Ware has written a book – The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying: A Life Transformed By The Dearly Departing – about her experiences.
She said: ‘My patients were those who had gone home to die and some incredibly special times were shared.
‘People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality and some changes were phenomenal.
‘Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected – denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.
‘Every single patient found their peace before they departed though.
‘When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again.’
Ms Ware recorded the most frequent five regrets in the elderly as and offered a brief comment:
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
‘Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.’
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
‘Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.’
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
‘They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.’
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.’
Dear Facebook Friends, Let us take notice of the dying. To remind us to live. Love C.