Ten Questions on Your Relationship to Significant Ones in your life

A romantic relationship, partner, marriage or long-term friend.

I read an excellent, short article in the Washington Post on Saturday (10.02.2024) on why relationships last including romantic relationships/partnerships/marriages and long-term friendships.

Research shows that happy long-term relationships need an expansive exploration for each partner. A partner or long-term friend contributes significantly to making our life more interesting.

Gary Lewandowski, Jnr, a psychology professor at Monmouth University, New Jersey, USA, wrote 10 questions to help people in a relationship look at what might need development,

Readers had a simple choice in their response to the questions, either Very Much or Very Little.

TEN QUESTIONS ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH CERTAIN SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

1.       Does being with your partner or friend result in new experiences?

2.      When you are with this person, do they make you feel a greater awareness of things?

3.      How much do they increase your ability to accomplish new things?

4.      Think about the kind of person you are. Does your partner or friend expand how you view yourself?

5.      When you think about this person, do they help you expand your own capabilities?

6.      Now think about this person’s skills abilities and talents. Do they compensate for some of your own weaknesses?

7.      Have your partner or friend helped you see a larger perspective in life?

8.     How much has being with this person resulted in you learning new things?

9.      How much does your partner or friend increase your overall knowledge?

10.   Has knowing them made you a better person?

Results

6 to 10. Highly expansive. Chances are you have a happier and more sustainable relationship in your marriage, partner or long-term friend.

4 to 5. Moderately exciting your relationship. Definitely room for improvement.

zero to 3 to Zero. Relationship is not creating opportunities that help to expand your knowledge and make you feel better about yourself. Sharing your experiences with your partner can improve your relationship.

Professor Lewandowski is the author of the book,

“Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship...and How to See Past Them.”