Do I need an identity? Is identity tied up with I, Me and My? Or not?
An Exploration of the middle way between holding onto an identity and letting go of all identity. Is the photo in this post a new identity or an identity crisis?
I take the train regularly from Totnes to London to Paris or Brussels and onto a city in Germany to teach retreats. The ticket inspector, French, Belgian or German walks down the aisle requesting to see our tickets.
The inspector speaks the language of his homeland and then as soon as he or she sees me, the inspector often says in English “Can I see your ticket, please” or something similar.
I am not reading an English newspaper or reading a book written in English. I do not have the ticket in English at hand. I certainly do not have a Union Jack badge pinned to my jacket collar. How does s/he know that I am English?
A new identity or is the photo a sign of an identity crisis?
My clothes do not seem that different from other male passengers. Yet the inspector accurately identifies me as English. People from overseas say to me “Oh, Christopher, you are so English.”
I am not pleased to hear this. England has a long history of wars, colonialism, racism, domination of the class structure and far too many wallow in hubris about the country.
I prefer to identity myself as a human being or as an internationalist, a freedom from being tied to a nationality.
Football has become corrupt through the acquisition of clubs by billionaires worldwide. They are the new Caesars watching the footballers as their plaything, as their possessions, to buy and sell for profit. We witness moments of the beautiful game triggering among players and fans a phenomenal degree of emotional upliftment.
I still cheer on a team representing a developing nation or small nation to beat England. You might say I identify with the underdog.
I identify as a man due to identifying with my biological features. I identify myself as a father, grandfather, householder, teacher and other roles due to my relationship with others.
What is the Middle Way between having/possessing an identity and not having an identity?
The middle way reveals a clarity of mind and our capacity to expand our awareness beyond the limits of identity.
Suffering over identity reveals an ego investment in identity. The English word identity offers an insight into the syllables. I make an entity out of identity. Identity becomes stronger through excessive and contracted views around what we identify with.
We then experience the polarity of impact of our views of another identity. Our country and your country. Our political party and your party. Our business and your business. As the holding to a certain identity increases through clinging, so fear, anger and suffering increase as well.
Four examples of Identity issues producing suffering
1. A person strongly identifies with a suffering situation. That is all the person thinks about morning, noon and night. It generates stress, anxiety and insomnia.
No alternative can be seen.
2. A person identifies themselves as having little or no self-worth. She or he genuinely believes this is who they are.
No alternative can be seen.
3. A person identifies themselves with their career and the company she, he or they work for over years. Everything else takes second place. The person loses their job. Their identity collapses leaving the person depressed.
No alternative can be seen.
4. A person strongly identifies with their country. She or he feels they must support guns and weapons’ deliveries to stop mass murder. Both armies wish to engage in mass murder of the other army.
No alternative can be seen.
What happens if we let go of all our identities?
We might fall into a pit of confusion about who we are. The mind might start producing new identities riddled with projections in the desire to be somebody different and special or to get attention, so others accept us and include us in their circle.
Some might feel afraid to question their identity. What will others think, say or do if I let go of a big identity? A person might believe he, she or other might become cut off from reality if their primary identities fade or get dropped.
Another example. Some might conclude that identification with the body enables a women, man or other to act to hold a rapist accountable for her/his/their actions. Identification with the body can go either way. Intense identification with the body would trigger a trauma, a terrible fear of rape happening again, a fear of being touched and a fear of not being believed by the authorities, family or friends. The person contracts into the trauma.
Clarity of mind needs inner space and courageous steps to hold another accountable before the judiciary for their sexual violence.
A person who has suffered abuse at any age may feed anger their anger and then in later years the same person become the abuser. Abuse can lead to a mass murderer in public office, via warfare. Abuse can lead to sudden outburst of anger at a vulnerable child or adult, as well as others.
Learn about another or yourself in terms of the upbringing, teenage years and later. You may learn a lot about the behaviour of the adult from presidents to priests to perpetuators of revenge on the innocent and guilty.
Wisdom supports a clear relationship to identity. The middle way neither exaggerates identity nor dismisses it, neither holds onto it in oneself nor puts down the identity of another. Wisdom understands application of accountability, conflict resolution and direct action.
The richness of life respects diversity among people, culture, secular values/religions and enjoys the duality of the beautiful game.
Final word
Consciousness has the capacity to go deep - deep into meditation, deep into silence, deep into love of solitude, deep into one or more of many kinds of relationship. In the deep, identity, such as I am this. I am that, may fade from consciousness
The problematic identity and the unproblematic identity belong in the upper regions of our inner life.
The depth can reveal insights/sudden revelations too without the meditation process. These experiences reveal a reality of a different order from identity in its healthy or unhealthy manifestation.
This exploration of such meditative depths is a post for another day, another week.
Dear Christopher,
thanks for your inputs for ANUSSATI and YONISO MANASIKARA (skilful reflection).
1x monthly would be enough, but weekly is overdose.
Please delete me from your list, because my Inbox is overflowing with unread mails.
I prefer DHAMMA reading in analogue way like books. Or chosing DHAMMA-talks whenever needed on Youtube.
So please unsubscribe.
Thank you
inge
There is a synchronicity of your article with a discussion I have on another forum where comments are like "he believes himself to be this... or that... he is like a this or that...." etc.
And it simply does not hit or even fit. Just words strewn into the internet and floating around.
Inspiration is indeed coming from 'other places'.
I appreciate your loving work. No measurings available.